Why are relationships so confusing?!
Published 1 year, 9 months ago in My life.What do people think about relationships in the modern era?
In an age of efficiency and individualism how does the concept of a long lasting relationship fit in?
Isn’t the notion of a relationship inherently going to struggle in an age where we are encouraged and wish to pursue our own individual interests?
Does it all come down to compatability? I’m confused. .
6 Responses to “Why are relationships so confusing?!”
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The trouble is people. If you can get people out of the equation you will not have a problem. My relationship with the internet is still going strong, after all these years. Yes, I’m kidding.
It’s the contraceptive pill(true, eg http://www.abc.net.au/catalyst/stories/s1210487.htm). Unbeknownst to most, our caveman instincts seem dormant but are still operating subliminally. When it comes to attraction, humans rely, in no small part, on how a person “smells” to them, subconsciously. Taking the contraceptive pill interferes with the females’ selection process for the right mate, leading to incorrect choices and unhappy relationships. Still, when the overwhelming evidence to your conscious mind makes you realise you have made a mistake, at least you wont be pregnant !
The wisest of many wise thing my wife has told me is that a good relationship takes work. Like anything else you want to keep working, it requires review and maintenance. Just letting it go along at its own pace does not work for the long run.
Aren’t we all…. But as they say, nothing worth having comes easy! But I know what you mean; how are you supposed to be independant and your own person and non-reliant and all that jazz, and still be half of a commited, reliant couple?! It is hard, and it is confusing, and after many a wrong relationship and currently in a great 2 and a half year one, I’m still trying to get the hang of it! I think the trick is trying to balance couple life with your own life….sharing friends and interests, but still having friends and interests outside of that relationship… I think that what makes it easier is finding someone that you are compatible with, someone who makes you feel protected and safe, but at the same time strong and independant, and can still be your best friend! But if anyone has any better advice, please do tell!
G’day,
I’m 7 weeks away from “tying the knot” to the one man in the world i want to experience the journey of life with.
We’re blessed that from the moment we knew there was something more between us, we discussed our plans for the future, our likes and dislikes, the bad habits we knew we had, the dreams we had for the future, kids. etc. etc. the good thing was that most of these actually aligned perfectly. For example; Uncommon for todays times, we both looked forward to having kids early and making that a priority.
One thing that’s gone out the window in the generations of today are those old fashioned beliefs that ‘good things are worth the wait’, or ‘good things come to those who wait’. The thing with these sayings are that some in our generation have taken them and said ‘if you wait for everything, you’ll never get anywhere in life’. The thing is that is exactly TRUE! You don’t need to wait for everything in life. But use your brain and your problem solving mind to decide what things you do wait for. that where your own developed morals come into it - man thats a can of worms i don’t want to open.
Bits of info/advise i’ve found good to follow;
Advisers/mentors are great tools providing that that person is someone you want to follow the footsteps of.
Speaking openly about your wants/plans is important, but nit picking is not a productive past-time, find where each others plans fit together and where they don’t.
The thing most forget is that each in the relationship come from a completely different background/up bringing. Some characteristics are going to stay whether you like it or not. You’ve got to decide how to deal with that. Don’t forget that there are going to be things you do that annoy your partner too. You’ve got to let some things slide.
DO NOT forget what it was that made you fall for them in the first place.
Cherish the moments you get, treat them as blessings.
Judge for yourself, -providing you don’t hold a belief on the contrary- you have the freedom of choice to direct your own life.
Try to always give 100%, and acknowlegde when you don’t.
Hope I haven’t confused you more but the thing is relationships are damn confusing! You’ll find your place.
Relationships are continuous (for most anyway) and need to be committed to keep giving your all.
You need to re-gear your mind and open it up to how the opposite sex thinks. Remembering that communication is the cornerstone to a relationship as soon as you have hidden agenda that is the end of two way communication and trust.
Interesting replies, thanks.
I have discussed further with my partner and come to some illuminating insights… I guess the essential thing really, is that both people want it to work.. without that, why bother?
I agree with Jess08… twice in 1 week end I’ve agreed with you.. how’s the other 364 days going?? & lovethejourney makes soooo much sense… I wish them well in the coming marriage and may it bring you all the joys you wish for.. and the strength to deal with the ones that don’t come to pass…